On a rainy day in May this year, I am writing about darkness and light.

What I hope from our experiences in life, whether we consider them positive or negative, enjoyable or terrible even in their extremes--I hope for an understanding that all of our experiences make up life, knowing that they will be, have been, and will continue to be a part of us, in whatever way, shape, or form they may appear.

We cannot include the light without the darkness, the supposedly "good" without the "bad", because we cannot know one without the other in a world which defines existence through opposing or opposite experiences, each giving meaning to the other as life unfolds.

I have created a site in addition to this one where I am open to sharing the darkness of a path walked in life, where the darkness appears and may be defined by more of the mystery of existence versus the cold light of truth.

I have found a velvety goodness in the darkness, if you will, in this way.

Without the mystery of life unfolding freely, without ourselves getting in the way of it, we are limiting our experiences, and most likely evolving a real darkness within us, where unexamined experiences have the chance to--and they will--come out and challenge us in ways we least expect them. It will be our unaddressed concerns or desires taking form in the waking light of the unconscious, from the darkness of un-acknowledgement, in ways we never would have conceived of or expected.

Embracing more of the mystery of life seems to be a keen way to address this, lest the darkness of life experiencing take on forms separate from our conscious experiencing, where they gain greater strength in their apparent separateness, all the while being a part of and within us, evolving in the darkness of unconsciousness.

It is healthy to embrace and acknowledge the seemingly darker parts and experiences of ourselves then. In actuality, in neglecting them, we are neglecting a greater integration into wholeness, of integrating the darker experiences of ourselves.

There is not necessarily a darkness and a light, you see, but just an experience of life, a unique one for each of us, in whatever combinations of experiences life may bring to each one of us.

Perhaps all of our experiences in life are to be lived through and enjoyed then, through an integration into wholeness, if in no other way.

I am here to help you do just that.

For more information on the darkness I am mentioning here, along with the mystery, and the spiritual aspects of life, please visit www.solarminds.com (my other site).

When I heard this piece of music again after some time of not having heard it, it struck me on a deeper level than perhaps it had before.

If you feel like the universe, your version of a high power, even yourself, has let you down, if you have felt like something has been missing, something has not been there for you, or your very self even, the best of you, has been absent, perhaps it is not so hard to hear the call to healing and help being offered to you from this place, through the lyrics and this song.

Sacred, beautiful, feminine.

Powerful. Real.

Thanks, Adele.

Hearing the call....

Hello by Adele
​(P) 2015 XL Recordings Ltd., under exclusive license to Columbia Records, a Division of Sony Music Entertainment

During the cooler months, when the light grows dimmer as suppertime approaches, we might naturally turn towards reflecting on our lives, on ourselves, thinking of maybe where we would like to be, a place different from where we are now, thinking of what may still be of concern in our lives to address, to look at, so we can get to this better place.

If you think of this like a mirror, then imagine the dark and silvery backing to a mirror, the darkness and bit of light that help allow the glass we look into to reflect ourselves back. When we turn the mirror over, we see this kind of backing, which allows us to see ourselves when the mirror faces us.

What if we removed this backing, chipped away at the silvery and dark material on the back of the mirror? We may not be able to see ourselves then, but we would have a clear view at that point, a clear piece of glass to look through, with nothing blocking our view.

I feel that at this time of year, in the cooler months, turning colder and darker as the year progresses, we are given the opportunity to reflect on ourselves and our lives, perhaps seeing what needs to be seen, perhaps looking at what needs to be looked at, within and by ourselves, or, if we are needing help then, with another supporting us on our journey to look at what we are seeing once again.

When we remove this material more and more, by looking at it, chipping it away, our view becomes clearer, the range of vision we have becomes wider in a sense--certainly, we can say we can see farther, further into ourselves with a clearer viewpoint.

Turning the mirror over, what might you see, what gives you cause for reflection?

During this time of year, the mirror turns naturally, so we can see what may be of importance to consider. We make room for more light as we continue to work at it. The darker months approach with the light fading away--but naturally, this light returns, and we may be in alignment with it, clearing our way.

The mirror turns.

What can you see?

Sitting where I usually sit to do a certain meditation every now and then, I spied two cardinals out the back window on a slanted beam of the deck.  They seemed to be playfully with one another, one of them seemingly feeding or pecking into the mouth of the other.

Standing up to confirm whether it was a couple, as in mating or mated birds, I did indeed see the colored male cardinal, and the more neutral-colored female cardinal.

In this meditation, I always hope to, and usually do in some way, uncover that sense of connection to what I believe in about life, what I know of it, a spirit of life that nourishes, contains a true peace, feels full of possibility, and has an exchange of love with me in all of these areas.

I did begin to feel this just as the two cardinals alighted on the beam.

I thought this fitting, as I confirmed it was a playful couple, and was smiling as I intuited a sense about this: whenever we are just relaxed and enjoying our connection to life, feeling a love about it, this is not unlike a subtle but present feeling of a give-and-take, a subtle exchange between the universe and ourselves, between life and who we are.

Everything became or was all right in those moments.

That is what I hope from the meditation each time.

That is what I hope for you, for each of us.

We can find our moments of relaxed peace and love.

As summer starts heading into fall, maybe we can start to thoughtfully set some time aside to allow these moments to happen.

Right before the Fourth of July, I am writing this entry.  I felt I needed to update posts past the last one, it having mentioned the end of spring.

This year for myself, towards the middle of the summer, it will be ten years of having dedicated my life to more consciously incorporating deeper ways of understanding, doing the practices and setting aside the time to nourish that part of my life.

Wherever you are in your path in life, whether this be for achieving basic or manageable wellness, or for doing that, along with moving deeper into your own precious and unique path of experiencing, for who you are as a person, I am hoping for you more freedom, more ease, more enjoyment, for the enjoyment of your life, and for moments of seeing past your habituated routines, to a truer sense of freedom, where you are not bound by limitations, whether inside or out, past or present, or even those you might be projecting into the future.

I believe in this path, and continue to dedicate myself to walking in it.

May I meet your reaching out, if you wish to walk this path, and what I am offering speaks to you.

I am truly so happy helping in such a way, seeing and watching this path unfold for others.

Everything is so green.  That's what I remember thinking about a month ago now, how the winter that did not seem to let go gave way to what perhaps has been a brief spring--summer seemingly here now, although not officially yet.

If you think of experience and the personal perspective of reality to be based on a quality of awareness or consciousness, then seeing the transition from the quietness, perhaps even message of death, of winter, seeing that transition into life again, with almost a vibrancy of lush greenness in the world, from trees and plants of all kinds, this experiencing of reality can be seen to have different flavors, spring and summer being an opening, an inviting, to an understanding of expression, and giving, and a sense of the freedom of experiencing life.

Underneath what may be of concern, what may be psychologically apparent, or seemingly permanent, we all get glimpses of this consciousness, the flavors and different forms of beauty of it, whether that be the inward understandings more readily apparent in winter, or the more connective and expansive natural tendencies we might have as life returns in all its vibrant greenness to the earth during the months where the seasons are warming up.

Grateful for this time of year, may it unlock and allow us to see an expansive consciousness or awareness, opening us to the possibilities of spring, and the all but present experiencing of summer now.

I have been debating about adding a section on resources to the site, so I am doing it in the form of blog posts entitled with the first word "Resources" followed by the type of resources.  They will be collected together in the Resources category on the side of the blog page, or at the bottom of the page if you are viewing the mobile device version of this page.  [Update: I may just tag other posts with the Resources category that contain a resource, so they will show up when clicking on the Resources category.  They may not contain the actual title "Resources" in the post title.]

Sacred Feminine Resources

Sacred Feminine Awakening: The Emergence of Compassion  by Misa Hopkins

She has four books now beginning with the same first words for the title; however, this one in particular beautifully expresses perhaps what has been a lost understanding of the sacred feminine, in a way that attempts to speak to anyone, regardless of what faith or spiritual path one has.

The Virgin's Promise: Writing Stories of Feminine Creative, Spiritual, and Sexual Awakening​ by Kim Hudson

I am always charged with inspiration and motivation when I pick up this book.  Although it has been written for screenwriters, the universal story the author has discovered about the fulfillment of life truly resonates on a fundamental level, as it no doubt should based on the author's research that went into discovering this story.  The theories of Carl Jung, a therapist inspirational to me who informs my work, helped guide her in the process.  He put forth the idea that we have within us universal archetypes, or patterns of potential or behavior which we can follow, which show up in stories from around the world as characters.  Kim discovered these universal characters and their life paths in stories across such a diversity of cultures.  What she writes about represents living a sacred feminine way of life.

As the ebbs and flows of my practice of being with others in therapy has continued over recent months and the year, I have added to my site, altered it, and now brought it back to a more simplified version.

In alignment more with my outlook which guides my life and informs my communications with others as I support them on their paths, bringing my website back to how it was earlier in the year embraces perhaps more of the being, and less of the doing, which prompted me to add to the site in the first place.

There are lessons of surrender here, trusting, and just discerning in the quiet and downtimes for what to do, or simply being with the emotions of the ebbs and flows of life.

I feel I most resonate with this version of my website right now; thus it has changed.

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Resources are a new category I am adding to the side of the blog page under Categories, or at the bottom of the page if you are seeing the mobile device version of this page.

To highlight this, I will post my first separate entry in the blog about resources after this one.

Spring has come and gone, as has summer, and without further hesitation, I feel compelled to catch a bit of fall in my writing.  Not only that, I wish to let go of what perhaps needs to be let go of, the imperfections that can imperfectly snag and nag one to the point of preventing the presence of the present from being here.

Why the date as the blog post title, you might be wondering?  Well, after having set aside a novel on my shelf, actually my two copies of the one novel, one being a giant-sized special edition of it, I have picked it up again after about a year, this time being the time of year when people most read this author's works.  So, perhaps you can see this coming, but within the first two pages of picking up the novel again where I last left off from the previous fall, a novel which I've read numerous times now--the day the novel resumes on is, you guessed it, September 28th: 

"That year the first day of fall (real fall as opposed to calendar fall) was September 28 ..."

This happened to be in the mid- to late-seventies when the novel's story takes place, but it seems strikingly dead on for fall this year, in 2017.  It is also rather spooky, or synchronistic, that I pick up the novel on the exact day that I read about in the novel.  Maybe I've read it so much, I knew that date was coming.  Perhaps, but the sentence I quoted above is not one I'm likely to lodge in my memory, except now after blogging about it.

So I thought September 28 an apropos title for this post, and something to write about after months of hiatus.

Why the hiatus?

I think I always try and write when I have something perhaps exceptional, extraordinary, or something illuminating to share, and I am not saying I do not this time, but this is my entire point.  Imperfection is a given and a reality and only needs to be said because I think we try and hang our coats on perfection, when the darn hook keeps being dragged down to the floor, not being able to take the weight of our attempts at it, what will always only be imperfection.

I have not blogged since April, until this time now this year, because I was fooled by my own interpretations of others' comments or actions.  Maybe I can assess them in a way that casts the shadow on them, when it really has to do with my own self-absorbed interpretations.

This time of year, perhaps it's natural to reflect on our own shadows, seeing them mirrored and shimmying down the lane, through tunnels of trees, in the curves of leaves blowing our way.  I can throw out this word, daemon, at perhaps the risk of what some others may think, but I will use the word anyway, it being a Greek idea of an intermediary between the divine and us humans, or perhaps the messenger within ourselves to spur us on to go deeper, to relinquish our cloud covering of light, to let the shadows appear to take a closer look at them, to not flinch, but to see where we might have obscured our own path.  

It's not the depth and death of winter yet, but it is time to reflect, to prepare, to let go of the previous suppositions and assumptions of the year thus far.

Be gone!  Whatever truths hanging there as falsities, still lingering, be gone!

A leaf here, a leaf there, just let them blow away and realize them as the phantasms that they are, back to the nothingness from whence they come.

Be gone!

No self-absorbed false truths to exist anymore.

September 28.

A good day to let the shadows dance and come, to freely swing them, and let them fade away, releasing them back into the nothingness from whence they come.

Be gone!

Beneath what we may consider to be our waking reality, other layers exist that are more refined, holding more of our truth.  Several traditions speak to this idea, letting us know that being and living from these more refined places becomes possible through what are considered their best practices, ways of understanding and arriving there.

You can think of it this way: although you may be driving home or arriving at a place you visit often, if you are lost in thought as the scenery or surroundings go past you, you may not be noticing that these areas around you actually exist in these moments.  You are unawares, driving or riding on the way to your destination, the scenery passing you by as you are lost in your thoughts.

This is what the idea of layers speaks to, that we are lost in what may be taking us from actually seeing and experiencing life more.

I feel so compelled, driven at times (pun intended), to come from the most refined and deepest layers of myself, to be as authentic and true to my understandings as possible.

In a real sense, this means being myself, simply and without the extra layers, without anything blocking my view and my experience of life.

Sometimes this translates into a poetic sense of seeing for me; at other times, this comes across as an inspiration to spur others on, dynamically communicating what I feel should be said.

If you think of yourself and your truth, the most real and authentically experiencing layer of yourself, when you are enjoying life fully and in the fulfillment of who you are, then this way of being is like the most precious version of yourself you can know.  For me it is the most precious relationship I can have.  Some traditions would even say this is the goal, this uncompromising and very real, natural version of yourself, the truest sense of yourself you can have.

Life becomes about an identity of experiencing then, not fixed ideas or ways.  You may have your old habits, but they are seen with this more natural and less troubled understanding permeating your way of being in the world.

Light and free.  Truly.  You are.

You can ride or drive to your destination, but now you do it with a more enriched and fuller understanding of yourself and your experience, not letting the scenery pass you by.